#getyourpraiseon


The sky was grey, the air warm, and the atmosphere thick with rain in the near future.

I vividly remember the first 5K race I ever took part in. My ex-wife’s father was an avid runner; we’re talking about the distances such as half-marathon and marathon. At this point in life those were distances that made zero logical sense to my own cerebral cortex. Why would someone want to run that far? Why would anyone want to run, period?

The course, my first 5K, took place along the bluffs of the Missouri River in the state capital of Jefferson City, Missouri. Though it had been advertised as a ‘novice course’, it became clear along the steep grades that this course may be more towards the individuals of the…professional level.

It was a horrible experience. I walked nearly half of that course, and I remember the frustration of thinking how this family would judge, how I couldn’t catch up to the guy whose daughter I was in love with, how I was once a joke of a runner and that I would always be that joke of a runner.

I had dry heaves following this event.

My first 5K, in the rain, with a balmy time around 52:00.00.

***

The purpose of the story-within-a-story was to lay the framework of a tragic beginning relationship with an adventure that I would have never been able to predict. For the past 90 days I’ve been focused on one specific goal with training and health; running 3.1 miles (a 5K) under 20:00.00. The one consistency, whether at the gym, on the trail, or the road is that I log right at 30 miles of movement per week. I needed to create a base of mileage from which I could begin to focus on specific areas of improvement (speed, cardio, stance, etc…). Today was the 90th day of this project.

Today, at approximately 5:00 PM CST, I strapped on my shoes, running shorts, technical shirt, and took off for what I thought was going to be a brisk 6.2 miles.

I had no clue what was about to follow…

Mental Conversation: Turn right at the top of the street; go through the intersection. Stretch out the legs to get a feel for the asphalt. Breathing is relaxed, calm, and the strides are in line. No overpronation noted, not running on the sides of the feet. Keep the breathing calm. Focus. Music. Look for dogs briefly. Fix shorts. Turn right at the T-intersection, take a sharp right out onto the highway. Little traffic, hit the hill. Calm down at the peak and stretch out on the flat. The cows are running with me on the side of the road. Wave to cows. I think I started too fast. I’m moving too fast at the moment. No time to recover, keep stretching out the legs. Push up the incline. Feel the potential side stitch. Deep breath, raise the whole body with each breath. Corner is up ahead. Keep pulling through with long strides. Weather is nice. Wind is from the south. Sun feels nice. Gear feels good. Up the hill and turn right. Look for cars. Keep right, dodge left when able to see downhill. Let loose. Stop resisting downhill and let your body catch you. Pick up speed. Keep the momentum, stretch up the hill. Hamstrings are fine. No tightness, no tension. Keep breathing. Keep moving. Keep breathing. Pull farther up the hill. Hit the sign. Hit the sign, stop the clock. Hit the sign, 3.1 is met. Hit the sign, stop the clock. Embrace a 25:00.00-26:00.00 3.1 with success. That is success after a long week. Look at your watch. Glance down at your watch. No 26. No 25. No 20. 19:10. 19:10? 19:10!

 

I have a goal. There is a specific race in a few months that I want to win; literally win. I doubt I can, to be truthful, but then again I never thought that I’d ever be in this position in my life. In six years of chaos, change, and ongoing struggles I’ve shaved off over thirty minutes from that first 5K on that rainy day.

God is so good for allowing me to move my legs every day in this crazy life. So many things I could look into the future from my past self and not be overly surprised of taking place, but running? The concept of muscle movement in a form of worship to God is something that I would have never imagined.

I hope that this is only the beginning of something incredibly beautiful.

-D-

XXXI: Every Step I Take


Every step I take,
I take in you,
You make move Jesus
Every breath I breathe,
I breathe in you,

The simple lines reverberate back memories of mission trips, summer camps, and when life was overall easier. Less facial hair, less stress, and an overall appreciation for simplicity…without even knowing it at the time. Even last night at my parents house I found a 31 page paperĀ that I had typed out of spite towards one of my professors. Reading over the text I was humored at how naive I was at the time (and also how my grammar could be relatable to my sixth grade students). Continue reading

XXXI: Lapped


I can, with a whole heart, confess that training these past two days have been harder than any track practice I ever partook in, in high school. I’ve collapsed at the door of our apartment each day, laid on the carpet, and dealt with the same cramp in a muscle that I’ve never had cramps in.

I suppose you can call this progress. Continue reading

XO: The Hardest Thing


I can’t sleep tonight. I need to be up at 5:45 tomorrow morning, but currently sleep just isn’t happening. I laid in bed for nearly thirty minutes, woke my wife up twice, gave up and turned on the computer. I’ve had a post buzzing in my head since I awoke this morning, so there really isn’t a better time compared to now to get it out on paper…digital paper?

Does anyone else out there feel as if they’ve lived several lifetimes in one?

Continue reading

Mobile Minutes: Sinking In


Like anyone else, the result or the aftershock of today’s events are finally starting to set in. I’ve been working on my resume, applications, and cover letters throughout the day. Figuring out my new ‘budget’, and making adjustments to the Kansas City Shock as needed.

I don’t feel worthless, or sad. There’s a ton of questions currently, but knowing how stressed MC and my girlfriend are about all of this…that in itself tends to bring upon a new level of stress. I don’t have the answers, I don’t really know what to do, I don’t even know what my resume should even look like. I mean, what tools and knowledge do I actually have?

Ugh…frustration is creeping in a bit tonight. Darco has been working on some tea, and groceries were purchased.

To be honest, out of all the things that came about from today, while sitting alone at Panera, with my personal belongings all boxed up next to me, I could only focus on one simple thought:

I will not repeat my mistakes. I will not be out of a home. I will have food to eat. I will survive.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Wrapped Up In Work


I truly am my father’s son; once I get a project started, I never want to stop. I’m a builder, that’s what I do [let me loose with some Lego’s and be prepared to be amazed].

I would go far enough to say that my current project; the Kansas City Shock is one of the most daunting tasks that I’ve ever been a part of. Easily it surpasses four years of college, and narrowly passes the awkwardness of high school.

However, it’s still just a project, an idea, a worldly creation that is bent to…to what?

It’s been a quiet Saturday today; I woke up still fuzzy from the recent illness I’ve had this week. Didn’t even fully get out of bed until around 2:00 PM, spent time sipping coffee, messing around with the Kansas City Shock, and watching cartoons. I’m serious; I didn’t really do much today.

That was the plan. I told myself after the past two days, mixed with Christmas, mixed with tryouts, and everything else in between, and before a psychotically busy January, I was doing a whole lot of nothing this weekend.

I forgot what it was like to sit back, with nothing on the agenda, and let your brain just wander around. Pushing the envelop past soccer, business, and what is on the forefront of mind. What lies deeper?

I just became a member of Missouri Valley, I’m dating a woman that is approaching eight months [officially], and there is a lot of changes in my life that aren’t reflective directly of my involvement in the soccer world. There is more then what lies within the lines on the field.

In the end tonight was just a night to reflect I suppose. Life has changed in directions that I can’t even believe. Realistically, the life that is my past seems unreal, only a rumor of what I once lived. I’m only 25, but I still can’t get over the journey so far.

-D-

Mobile Minutes: Exodus


Between Guatemala, work, and the fast approaching summer tournament [THIS SUNDAY!], I find myself sitting in this hotel room; stressed. The expectations are high on all levels, I hate disappointing, and people are depending on myself coming through. These are just facts of life, and yet…through all forms of stupidity and insanity…there is still this small voice in the back of my head…

Wouldn’t have been easier if you would have stayed down south?

I mean, seriously, why on earth would I even entertain such audacious thoughts? Yeah, I’m completely stressed out. But to think that I’d go back? What? It goes back to the Hebrews; so, back in the day they’re getting out of Egypt and heading towards their ‘promised land’ [currently strange soil and sand]. They leave this past of beatings, death, and slavery. They watch seas split and food fall from the sky. HOWEVER! Through all of that, they still complained about missing the old life of fresh fruit and slavery. It makes absolutely no sense when you take a gander into the eyes of temptation. Why revert back to the past that hurts? Why desire to escape reality just endure pain?

Where’s the logic?

-D-

It’s just been one of those days…

Mobile Minutes: KCI


Sitting at my gate. I made it through security. Laptop screwed things up…again.
This is step one of this weekends therapy: admission

1.5 years ago I sat in this airport, engagement ring in hand, waiting for my now ex-wife to step off her flight.
I hadn’t been back since.
We all must face our demons of our past one time, or another. This go around, it is my time.

-D-

…next stop…Chicago…